The Blah Blah Blog
The musings of a black sheep
Vale Rebecca Lorch
I'm sharing a story I was deeply touched by: Rebecca Lorch's strength and her recent suicide. Rebecca was known as the strongest woman in America, the holder of America's Strongest Woman in 2020. "On Dec. 18, 2022, while her mother and stepfather were out celebrating...
The Quest for the Best
"Which do you think is the best hot cross bun?" I ask "The one I am eating" said Bobalong "That sounds simple enough, why then are there so many articles being published about finding the best hot cross buns?" "Beeffs me" he says "the queff for the beff" "Sorry, what...
Look up at the sky
"It's a beautiful day" someone said. I mulled for a moment, all quiet and then the same voice said "You probably don't think somebody would talk to your back". True. I turned around, it was Bobalong. His presence explained the stale warm waft I had sniffed, and there...
Wishing and hoping
I want to offer an individual experience to make a point and to shout at the sky about the bigger picture. In the wake of the murder and rape of Eurydice Dixon, my concern is about violence towards women and the more systemic, and often less visible, sexism that comes...
The don’t tell me what to do to do list
I think this post is self-explanatory so I won't say much. The little I want to say is that I don't place much value on cute ideas dressed in pink. I find the suggestions like the ones in the picture patronising and dismissive of what might be happening to me. My...
Vale Amy Jayne Everett
Amy Jayne Everett was 14 years old when she died last week. Her father has said that bullying convinced her she had little choice but “to escape the evil in this world”. Heartbreaking and I can only nod in resigned agreement, in my experience there is too much evil;...
Paddington and the treatment of young criminal offenders
Paddington Bear's age is uncertain. His adoptive family, the Browns, did not know how old he was when they found him at Paddington Station. They guessed he was one year old. In line with one human year being two bear years they also decided he would have two birthdays...
On life myth and dreams continued…
“Our woal life is a idear we dint think of nor we dont know what it is” Riddley Walker said that in the novel by Russell Hoban. It’s one of my most favourite quotes ever. It speaks to my love of myth and dreaming, the wondrous potential of not quite known threads in...
On life myth and dreams
Today I am sitting at my desk and (day)dreaming and I'm thinking back to a time when I was grabbed by something, it was an exciting driven time. I was looking to live something greater than the mundane everyday, as well as seeking greater psychological accord....
Vale Stephen Wooldrige
Stephen Wooldridge died today. He a husband, father and an Olympic medal winning cyclist. He was 39 years old. There are many reports of his death in the Australian online news outlets. None mentions a cause of death, leaving to us guess. Sadly it is easy to guess as...
Vale Chester Bennington
Chester Bennington, who was the lead singer of Linkin Park, ended his life last week. His loss was unexpected and very sad. The reporting of Bennington's death has been a bit surprising to me. Many have detailed the method by which he died, I believe that's...
Vale Jeremy Strode
I am saddened by the news that Jeremy Strode ended his life today. He is described as a career chef, someone who started in the hospitality industry as a dishwasher at 14 years old. The Melbourne Wine Room at the George Hotel was my favourite place for mid-week...
Finding Dory and a bully (or two)
There is a problem with bullying. The obvious one being the potentially overwhelming affect on the bullied and right now I am referring to the problem of seeing the act of bullying for what it is. I want to take issue with Finding Dory, the sequel to the Pixar movie...
Small huge tiny big moments over coffee
My world is small, I have my favourite things, favourite places and favourite people. My taurean tendency is to be loyal, fixed with a preference for favourite things over new things. That was me today at Market Cafe (a favourite place), toting my shopping bag and...
What would save a wretch like me?
10th September, it is World Suicide Prevention Day (WSPD) and I am filled with a rising sense of despair. The more I read on the topic, the more I shake my head, disheartened. I feel pummeled by the horrific statistics that try to highlight the risk of dying by...
Andrew Solomon wants me to read him
In a series of meaningful coincidences, or synchronicities if you like, Andrew Solomon has been showing up in my world. In a favourite bookshop I came across his book The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression. The book was written in 2001, I hadn't heard of it. I...
A year passed by
Robin Williams July 21 1951 - August 11 2014
Me, my sister and our Dad
My sister just reminded me that it is three years since our Dad died. I don't have a good sense of time, I do have a good sense of loss that years don't dull. After nodding our heads in wonder at the time that has passed we didn't say much more about Dad. It was one...
LwSF group
Psst, I want to share a secret - For the last 18 months my friend Liz and I have been facilitating a regular group for people who live with suicidal feelings. The group is not really a secret, we are a low key sort of group and we try to keep attendance numbers small....
Looking for explanations
In the wake of Robin William's death there has been a lot of trying to explain what brings someone to suicide. Impending dementia, or prescription drugs have been offered as explanations. I don't know that there is any way to understand the dark thoughts of another,...
Distress tolerance
It is mid-winter here in Melbourne and so it is hardly surprising that I am thinking about warmth, in particular the emotional tone of warmth. I could also say a metaskill of warmth. Taken from Processwork a metaskill is a feeling attitude or tone, a quality to how a...
The long and winding road to contentment
I enjoyed a conversation this morning about the value of not having goals and direction, about just getting through a day and about appreciating anything that gets done on those days. As we talked one thought connected to another, we lost one thread, kept talking and...
Happy Valentines Day Maggie Estep
In her essay Think of This as a Window Maggie Estep wrote "I fell in love with New York City one day in 1971 when I saw dozens of people blithely stepping over a dead body on the side walk." I read that today in The New York Times, in Maggie Estep's obituary. A...
L’chaim
'It's a strange pathology don't you think,' I say, 'to want to be something other than who you are?' Wynstan leans forward, places a hand on mine. He has seen my need and he will never shame me for showing it to him. 'It's the same old thing, isn't it?' he says. 'All...
Empathy and what to say
A useful quality for this social time of year is empathy. Amid the merriment hurt feelings will be present, little wounds and abrasions will happen. For many the Yuletide doesn't hold much gaiety. It can be hard to be jolly, especially in the face of so much...
No solutions, elegant or otherwise
I find the term 'elegant solution' compelling. I think I would practically swoon if presented with an elegant solution for something. That's funny though as I can not recall any elegant solutions in my life for anything. Elegantly is just not reflective of how my...
Distress is not an illness
Dear therapist, counselor, coach, psychiatrist, psychologist, dear nurse, dear mother, brother, sister, lover, partner, husband, ex, wife, son, uncle, niece, nephew and aunt, dear cousin, dear friend, buddy, side-kick, acquaintance, soul mate, dear social worker,...
Living with Suicidal Feelings – a workshop in Melbourne
There is a lot of focus on suicide prevention and another, perhaps more helpful, perspective is how to live with suicidal feelings. Will Hall is an inspiring presenter with practical and innovative ideas. I am thrilled to be organising this public workshop on 23...
Another story of depression
Allie has written a part 2 to Adventures In Depression. Remember the first installment? There is something quite special about her work, simple and evocative. She captures something about depression that can be hard to describe to another. I know that because a number...
Under pressure?
Depression can be accompanied by a desperate need for change as well as an overwhelming powerlessness to achieve that change. It is difficult for an outsider to understand that state, and it can be just as impossible for the one on the inside to be in touch with...