ChristmasIt’s Christmas and a time for being with family, and for many it’s a time without somebody special. A time when you can feel very alone amid the general cheer.

It’s also a time when many won’t understand your sadness, I know mine is misunderstood. I am cajoled to join parties and teased not to be a grinch. Questions about the length of time since Mottsu’s death reveal concern that I should be over my loss. That I have grieved long enough – however long that is… That’s the most difficult to deal with the it’s-been-long-enough-attitudes.

My reply is simply “How long would it take you to get over me?”

However long it’s been is not long enough for me to be restored back to where I was. Time won’t see me completely restored or refurbished, I am changed by my experiences.

Merry Christmas, as merry as you can manage, I wish you as much merryiness as you desire and time for reflection, grieving and longing, time for yourself amid the celebrations.