I care about you and what happens to you, I am your friend.
I don’t say that very often, sort of expecting people to know that’s how I think. I do trying to practice caring by listening. A model I like is credulous listening, taken from the work of George Kelly, an American psychologist, therapist and educator. He developed Personal Construct Psychology.
The term credulous listening is self explanatory and I want to define it for clarity, it’s about understanding versus explaining. Credulous listening, can be described as:
• Encouraging, without demand
• Supportive, without judgement
• Empathic and emotionally warm, without criticism
George Kelly may have called that credulous listening, I call it being a friend. I can expand further on the qualities of a friend, trusting, kind, generous, present and accepting.
‘It all depends on what you want. You can trust to stick with you through thick and thin-to the bitter end! And you can trust us to keep that secret of yours – closer than you keep it yourself. But you cannot trust us to let you face trouble alone, and go off without a word! We are your friends Frodo…’ Tolkien, J. R. R. Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Rings
That’s sort of friend I strive to be.